I was out yesterday and once again was reminded how fortunate I am to live in such a beautiful place, Boulder, Colorado. There is a smell to the air here that is unlike any scent I have encountered. What I truly love about where I live is the nature that surrounds me. To me, nature is never boring, it always has something new and different to offer up if you let it, it is still yet uplifting and most of all, it heals me.
Let me be completely upfront about the times right now- it is weird, strange, foggy, blurry, confusing, scary…my list could go on. Yet it also seems as though time has paused, or at least caused me to pause. It has thrown me into self-reflection and shoved me full speed ahead into healing! Doesn’t it kind of feel like we are living in the twilight zone? Anyhow, let me get to my main point. I’m pretty good at entertaining myself. I’ve always loved reading, writing, doing puzzles, you know, brain stuff. But this time it’s been different, being alone in quarantine and I have to say even I’m going bonkers right now.
I wasn’t alone several years ago, my husband was with me, Jim. He suddenly passed in 2017. So now it is me and my two dogs (thank god for my dogs!). I’m also blessed with amazing friends and family. I’ve spent the last year and a half working on myself, my tools, my mindset, personal growth and staying in mostly a positive state. But right now, I’m alone. Unexpectedly alone. Wait, wait, don’t feel sorry for me, that isn’t what this is about. What it is about is the real, raw fact that it isn’t just seniors that are quarantining alone right now (bless them too), it is widowers like me and a list of other introverted individuals with their own reasons as to why they are faced with quarantine alone time. So, what do we do? Talking to ourselves is one thing but having a Q&A session with myself (okay, and my dogs) can get a bit…well…odd.
My parents are still alive. I’m grateful. I love them dearly, but here is the thing, they are constantly at each other’s throats….in a Costanza kind of way! It pisses me off. Why? Because they at least have each other. If my Jim was here, we would be having a blast, making every day its own adventure, not battling it out day in and day out. So, my lesson at this stage in my writing is to appreciate who you are with and who you have in your life, even if you are quarantining alone, be grateful. I have a newfound respect for grateful (thank you quarantine).
So, Jim isn’t here. It sucks. I’m forced to have all of this extra time to think about that reality. There are millions of us widows and widowers, and just as many singles out there navigating this storm alone. It’s not fun and that’s just the truth. And I live in one of the most beautiful places in the U.S., with so many things to do outdoors….even now. I can’t imagine being stuck in Michigan (my hometown) right now (insert another grateful reflection here)! So here I have a choice, I can stay in “forced to” mentality OR I can choose a few strategies (from my toolbox) to keep my sanity, I decided it might be helpful to share these as well.
Thank you for reading and joining my journey today. This is your journey too. Please feel free to connect with me, whether it’s for support or more ideas. I’m always here to help you. Even if you have a needs request, we can start there. No one should go through this alone!