The Truth About Dating, and NOT Dating, As A Widow

“Only 2% of widows and 20% of widowers will ever remarry after losing their partner.”

There’s no right or wrong time to date again, although the world certainly has its opinions…

“Too soon!”,  or in my case,  “What’s taking her so long?”

Let me tell you something: It’s not gonna happen.

I don’t think most people experience the magical love that Jim and I share. So I get why you can’t get it.

My parents don’t have that magical love – I love you mom and dad but you both know it’s true

My dad’s parents did, and that’s the example I’ve always looked up to. Strived for.

After my Nanny passed away, my cousin and I spent every Saturday night at my Papa’s. We didn’t want him to be alone. To hurt more.

And while I’m much younger than he was, that’s what I also need. My family. My friends. My pups. Not someone new. I can’t even wrap my brain around that.

So please don’t judge others. Please don’t encourage me, or others like me, to “Get back out there.” Instead, ask me about Jim. Tell me your favorite memory of him. Hell, ask me to get together. But please don’t ask me to date.

I have absolutely no judgment about those who are dating again. In my experience, you’re the majority and I’m the exception. I get that. And I’m beyond happy for you and where you are!!

Just recognize that my journey looks different. Every single one of our journeys is unique – as they should be!

Have you lost a loved one? You’re in the right place.

If you have lost a spouse or partner, whether recently or ten years ago, I have many helpful resources on my website that can help you navigate the challenging journey of healing.

This recent article shares what it feels like to be a widow, a role no one ever chooses. It also shares insight into how friendships change after losing a spouse/loved one, as well as helpful advice for how you can best support someone after they become a widow or widower.

Click here to start reading now: The Top 3 Reasons Why Widowhood Feels More Crushing Than You Ever Imagined.

Another valuable place to start is by joining Griefhab.

This is a supportive and comforting facebook community for anyone dealing with loss. It’s a place to heal. Feel. Share. Vent. Grow. Learn. Listen.

Griefhab came to life out of my own loss and deep pain after losing my husband Jim, and also from my awareness that there simply are not enough services available for those of us experiencing loss.

There are services for everything else out there: addiction, eating disorders, cancer, depression, you name it. But not loss. Not grief. And that troubled me to the core, because I knew how much help I needed after I lost my husband, my soulmate, my best friend, my everything. And so here we are.

I invite you to utilize this group however it will best meet your needs. Sit back and observe. Someone else’s story will help you.

Share if you’re comfortable, and help yourself and others. Connect with this community who understands what you’re going through. You’re not alone. We’re here to support each other, every step of the way.

I AM here to support you, each and every step. And I’m a text, email, or message away. I get it. I know what it feels like to be unable to breathe, unable to sleep but so completely exhausted. You’ll get through this. We’ll get through this. Together.

Join a supportive and loving group of like-minded people now: Griefhab.

Did you find value in this blog?

Hopefully this blog has provided some comfort, education or awareness on dating after losing a spouse/partner. If you know someone who will benefit from reading this blog, please share it. By making noise and breaking stigmas we can make the world a better place.