I have a lot of friends who are incredible teachers. So invested in their students – extending far beyond their academics.
And then I have my clients.
And my clients teachers who I attempt to connect with, often unsuccessfully. The conversations that I hope go smoothly and often don’t until I start explaining my clients medical rights.
Your students medical rights. Your children’s medical rights.
In this world where we can access almost anything at our fingertips, have we forgotten how to access our humanity?
I have clients with real anxiety. They’ve grown up through Covid and mass shootings. It’s a world where it’s more common to do something online than it is to do something in person.
It’s even more common to order a pizza online than it is to just pick up the phone!
Have we lost all connection?
More than that – what’s invisible, what’s unspoken is that many people live with real anxiety about picking up that phone. About walking into that room.
I’m used to human beings interacting. Caring. Showing compassion.
There is some serious conversation in this world AND in my own community right now about online vs. in person events.
People have strong feelings about both and there are valid pros to both but what’s not being discussed –
What’s being avoided in so many of these conversations is the WHY.
We know all about convenience and scheduling. We’ve had these conversations.
Have your teenagers told you they’re afraid to pick up the phone and order that pizza? In life’s big picture – who cares, right? Use the app.
But what happens when it’s a job interview? A college interview?
What happens when we’re depriving young adults of necessary life skills???
Teenagers are and forever will be teenagers. They’ll be late to class. They’ll have missing assignments. They’ll whisper with their friends instead of paying attention.
FOR ALL DIFFERENT REASONS.
It’s now a world where parents must look online to check their student’s attendance. Gone are the days of a phone call.
Missing assignments? Check online!
For a ‘complete’ or ‘incomplete,” and ‘present’ or ‘absent.’
BUT WHAT ABOUT why.
As the teacher AND the parent – don’t you want to know why?
It’s not just that it’s different for each student – it’s that it very much matters!
One student just might not care, I suppose – although I challenge that and say there’s a reason behind that – but we’ll leave it alone. For now.
Another student might not understand. Not all humans learn the same way. One teacher. Probably thirty students. I promise at least one student needs more support and at least one more needs to learn in a different way. And a third needs both.
Another student is going through something. An injury. An illness. A breakup. That impacts us as adults. Fourteen and fifteen and sixteen year old brains have fewer coping skills than we do.
It’s up to the adults! We’re the ones who need to be doing the work. The looking out. The communicating.
With the students AND with each other.
Online systems to interact are great ADDITIONS.
BUT THEY’RE NOT REPLACEMENTS –
No more than apps are replacements for human interaction.
How many adults do you know who struggle communicating? Three came to my mind before I finished writing the sentence. Teenagers are still learning and growing and communication, while it should be a class, is not.
We can’t expect these children (sorry kids – but I’m holding the adults accountable here!) to communicate like adults when we’re not communicating with them.
Teachers – have the conversations.
Why are you late.
Why are assignments incomplete or missing. What can you, the adult, do to understand the situation.
Don’t wait until report cards to communicate with the parents. Don’t wait for parents to reach out to you!
Parents –
Talk to your kids. Are their teachers interacting with them as an individual not only as a class? Do they actually know your child? Is your child understanding everything? Are their needs being met?
Don’t wait for a teacher her to reach out to you about grades or progress. If you have questions or want to establish a relationship – connect!
An important note – if something important has happened over the summer that might impact your child – like a move or a new sibling or a death in the family, it’s always my professional recommendation to be proactive and inform the teachers. Maybe it won’t be necessary, but it’s better than having to scramble.
Students –
You have a say! It’s your life! I know you probably feel like no one listens to you – and I want to help. I guarantee no one will listen if you don’t speak up – so is there one person at school? A favorite teacher? Even a favorite teacher from last year?
At home – please tell your parents what’s going on as soon as possible. Maybe they won’t understand everything at first, but they’re on your side.
You can even reach out to me or your best friend’s parents. Putting things off seems like a good idea, but then the problem and the anxiety grow.
You’re not alone. It’s the adults job to communicate better and to teach you better ways to communicate. We’re human. No one taught us.
Most of us are doing the best we can with what we know. We want to meet your needs. Please let us!
You’ll be us one day – and you’re the future. We’ll meet you halfway!
Meet us the other half…..
And remember, you can reach out anytime: sam@samantharuth.com
