I’m not good at picking favorites - other than my sports teams, obviously. But when it comes to my favorite days of the year, Jim’s birthday is at the very top of my list. If you knew him, you know how much he loved celebrating his birthday. Usually with karaoke. And I adored seeing him in his glory. So, of course, yesterday was a difficult day.
And there are so many other difficult days that people aren’t aware of…. I’ve learned a few things over the years to help me through the difficult days.
I’m not good at picking favorites - other than my sports teams, obviously. But when it comes to my favorite days of the year, Jim’s birthday is at the very top of my list.
If you knew him, you know how much he loved celebrating his birthday. Usually with karaoke. And I adored seeing him in his glory.
So, of course, yesterday was a difficult day.
I give myself grace.
I give myself permission to take a little more time for me.
I allow myself to change my mind, to say no, to do what feels right.
I Plan Ahead
The bottom line is – decisions become more difficult when you’re dealing with loss and grief. So anything you can do to plan ahead, to simplify…
I think about what will be peaceful. And what (and who!) won’t be…. and I plan what’s best for me.
I label my behavior.
I let the people in my life know where I’m at – emotionally. There are days I haven’t wanted to talk on the phone. Days I really need to be around my people. Days I don’t know what I need. And sharing this with them allows them to better meet my needs. And it also prevents them from taking anything I do personally!
I spend time in nature.
I do something with the girls that Jim would LOVE. That I love. So that’s also doing something for me.
Yesterday we went to Sassy’s favorite lake since Dallas just got to celebrate our Ruthiversary at her favorite lake.
I also find a way to give back and do something for others. The first 2 years I wasn’t in any sort of place to do more than make a donation. My focus was getting through the day.
If you know my story, you know that I finger painted to get through sleepless nights. And I judged myself. It felt “unproductive.”
That couldn’t be further from the truth. It got me through the night. That’s huge!
Since then, even with moving (twice) and Covid, I volunteer. For many, many reasons – one of the biggest being that it feels really good to do things for others. I’m not gonna lie!
It’s ok to do things that feel good. I couldn’t think about fun or happy for years – so think about what decreases pain. What increases comfort. What is most likely to make you smile.
The last two years, in addition to volunteering, I’ve also offered large discounts on my products and services. I want to reach as many people as possible. I don’t want anyone to struggle alone.
This year, I’m continuing that tradition. And I’ve also come up with another way to serve more – for less!
If you can’t wait for the official announcement, reach out to me and I’ll happily tell you more
Otherwise, stay tuned for a big announcement on September 19th!!!
Mental Illness Awareness Week is 10/2 through 10/8.
I’m using this week to:
Extend Jimtember! I know Jim will absolutely love this and it will be our new tradition.
Continue #makingnoiseandbreakingstigmas surrounding Mental Illness.
Funds raised will be awarded to The 2022 Jim Ruth Award Winner. Nominate a teen struggling with mental illness here.
Team Ruthless is also hosting a virtual 5k fundraising walk (and an in person walk if you’re in Colorado!)
For those of you that are local, we’ll be MAKING NOISE and BREAKING STIGMAS in Fort Collins, Colorado on October 2nd to honor Mental Illness Awareness Week. Please consider joining me for the 5k walk! Time and location are pending on the forecast due to the crazy weather we’ve been having but will be announced shortly!!
Virtual AND in person registration will be up soon! All proceeds will go towards the Jim Ruth Award!!! Please consider joining Team Ruthless or make your Donation now and thank you for your support!
Thank you for helping me honor Jim.
With a Whole Lotta Love
Sam, Sassy and Dallas