Always Part of My Everything

Blog, Emotional Health, Grieving, Support, Uncategorized

March 21, 2023

 

 

I’ll always talk about Jim. He’s part of me. He’s part of everything I do. So anyone who thinks talking about him might upset me – PLEASE talk about him. NOT talking him is what is upsetting.

He’s also connected to my career in so many ways…
 
My first job “in the field” was at The Sanctuary in Royal oak, Michigan. It’s now Common Ground Sanctuary – but I’ll always think of it as The Sanctuary. I loved it then and I love it now.
 
One of my peer counselors was Jim’s cousin. He left work one night and went to Jim’s house to tell him about me, this girl who loves football and Led Zeppelin and the matchmaking began.
 
Years later, when we went our separate ways, I made a change professionally. I took a position in a new area and made a name for myself with The Livonia Schools.
 
I never would have done that if Jim and I stayed together, just like he never would have moved to Colorado.
 
Fast forward to 2013 when I made another big professional move. My partner insisted that we have some sort of online presence, which I had none of up until this point. I resisted, but eventually compromised with LinkedIn and wouldn’t you know Jim found me within a week.
 
A year and a half later I was moving across the country to begin our happily ever after in Colorado. I thought that the professional transition would be a breeze and planning our wedding would be the stressful part.
 
Little did I know 😂
I talk all the time about how awful mental healthcare is in Colorado. I started walking into the schools just like I did in Livonia, only here I wasn’t met with open arms. Instead, doors were slammed in my face. Figuratively, but it might as well have been literally as far as my self esteem was concerned.
 
Jim was my biggest cheerleader, encouraging me to do things my way. I created online counseling before it was a thing. BC. Before Covid. I named my business Never Give Up, speaking of my professional struggle not knowing of the personal struggle yet to come.
 
When I lost Jim – I had zero interest in working with clients again. I had absolutely no idea what was next, just like my clients who come to me now.
 
I was completely lost and learned to follow my own voice – and Griefhab was born. In honor of Jim and to provide the services I so desperately needed and couldn’t find. The services others so desperately need and can’t find.
 
Grief is the one thing we will all go through at some point in life. It’s the one thing we all can relate to at some point. It unites us.
 
Some of you don’t understand this yet, and that’s ok. You will one day. I wish you wouldn’t. I really do. I wish we didn’t all have to go through this.
 
But we do.
 
So it’s important to discuss. It’s important to learn and to understand.
 
It’s important for me to talk about Jim. Whether I’m talking about my personal life or my career – he’s a part of it. He’s part of everything I do. He’s part of every decision I make.
 
It might sound crazy to you, and that’s ok with me! Just let me keep him with me by talking about him.
 
What we need is your compassion and understanding, not your judgment and unsolicited advice. Someone told me last week that her minister…. her minister said “isn’t it time to take the pictures down and move on?”
 
There is no moving on!!! There’s moving through because we have no choice. There’s moving forward.
 
People chime in with “you should do this” and “you should do that.” I’ve got news for you – there is no right or wrong way. What works for me might not work for you. I was told to get out more and my close friend was told she was out too much.
 
Shut up already and understand that we get it through it the only way we know how. And that’s successful because we survived. Period.
 
Hospitals and hospice programs and funeral homes do not provide or even offer the support that people need. Not even a pamphlet in most places.
 
And if there is a pamphlet, information is incorrect, people don’t return phone calls, or the wait time for an appointment is weeks away.
 
We need to do better.
Griefhab is a community of people who get it. Run by myself, a Licensed Psychologist but more importantly a widow. It’s free. I post daily. There are resources and tools, as well as weekly videos and guests.
 
Join us and please share with others so people have access to the support they need WHEN they need it.
 
You can also join me LIVE on zoom next week for my interactive Relief From Grief Workshop. It’s at 6pm MST and I’ll be sending the replay out to everyone who registers. 
 
I’ve been having conversations with people recently about the words “grief” and “group.” Too many people assume that groups will make them feel worse – so they don’t go, and they continue struggling alone. 
 
My groups and workshops are not about wallowing about our losses. I get it – we’ve been dealt some shitty hands, pardon the language. 
 
It’s about figuring out how to do it YOUR way – not the way the world or anyone in it says you should! 
 
It’s about learning how to let others know that grief doesn’t end and that we need them – months and years down the line! And it’s about learning how to accept that support so you don’t drown in the grief alone! 
 
You can observe or join in – but please don’t assume it’s like the other groups. Register and give this workshop a chance! 
 
No one should struggle alone. Grief doesn’t end, but it’s way less painful with others who get it ❤️
 
Please remember that, while it’s easy to isolate and suffer alone, that makes things much more intense. Please know that you can reach out anytime:
 

No one should struggle alone ❤️

Visit my Linktree! 💜

Link


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *