My Wedding Anniversary Weekend

My actual 10th anniversary is on the 16th. Ten years. Ten.

I was happier than I knew was even possible. Which made losing Jim even more traumatic.

7 of my 10 years here in Colorado have been without him (physically here.) It’s so wrong. The people I talk to on a daily basis he doesn’t even know.

It’s a mind game.

Smiling is a choice. Good days are a choice. Having fun is a choice. Choices I make for Jim!

They’re not always easy choices, and some days are easier than others.

This time of year it’s a conscious effort. Football. His birthday. I’ve come so far from how I used to get through these days.

But they’re still difficult days. Invisible to the rest of the world.

I’m far from the only one, which is why I make so much noise about awareness days and the invisibles.

Speaking up. Explaining the complicated feelings. This is an obstacle for many. An added burden to the all too painful reality of surviving loss.

You can ease that burden by understanding a few things: Your support matters.

Whether it’s a text, a phone call, or getting together in person – we need you. There’s so much else going on in the brain that sometimes we forget to let you know. Your support means everything.

Even if we don’t respond!

A client said “I just can’t answer the phone today!” And I remember that feeling.

We still appreciate the call. Don’t give up on us. It’s because of your support that we keep going.

There’s no solution. You want to fix things. You feel helpless. Know that you can’t fix this, but you can be here. Others leave. The world adds pressure. Just being here is enough!

Silence is ok.

You don’t have to think of what to say or not say. Just be here.

On that note – SO many people tell me that they don’t know what to say. They worry about saying the wrong thing.